Dandering a definition

I was asked at the weekend what a dander was (is)

And a Dander is a part of the SI unit for  bipedal motion

The full Dander Scale is as follows in ascending velocity

  • Stationary
  • Slope / Stagger*
  • Stroll
  • Promenade**
  • Dander
  • Trot
  • Scoot
  • Wobble ***
  • Jog
  • Rush
  • Run

* Only when Drunk

** Promenade is slightly faster than Stroll but with more “Hippy Hippy Shake look at my bum big boy” if you are female

*** Wobble happens when tacyhonic fat anticipates running and starts to move before jogging commences


I do hope that explains it 🙂

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The Northern Ireland leaders debate

Oh I am so glad I recorded it!
From the opening statements not quite the ‘same old same old’ but very close.

Economy
Big gerry – only viable if united Ireland and Margaret is mad and prob regrets putting the economy on page 42 out of 48 the sf manifesto and he doesn’t like Tories

Sir reggie – only viable if in the UK and gerry is bad Tories are lovely and its all someone else’s fault and gerry has fantasies (surely that is Iris)

Maggie Ritchie – 42k jibs selling icecream to tourists and making wind mills and she will cut red tape

Pesky Peter – we will create new jobs by going to the USa on junkets and will cut corp tax and gerry is bad

Trustworthy politicians

Gerry
Shinners don’t take expenses and the uup and duplication are bad bad boys

Reg
We have been bad bad wee boys no double jobs yawn yawn yawn

Maggie
We will do better promise honestly but the sinners take expenses the liars!

Peter
We all had issues and I have not been a naughty boy and my wife needs 300 quid pens cos biros make her depressed please please stop saying “let’s be clear” because you are not!

Security

Gerry
The police are good! Sinners can’t say safety not safe-itty. Sir reg needs to be very “careful” Reg is silly

Maggie
Dissidents are bad! They use tech like the Provies we have to move on. No army

Reg
Dissidents are bad bring back the army if required

Peter
Dissidents are bad ! We got the devolution of justice we are good and the chief constable is “da man”

Pacts (who plays with who)

Gerry
The Orange order is a midwife and there is a lovely wee mother who works hard being a shiner and she is hard done to by them pecking prods but wait no she ient but the prods are bad bad bad lazy people like the sdlp .

Reg
We made a pact with the other proddies to keep the fenuans out and he is a fine chap that we chose

Maggie
Shinners are bad unionists are bad we are lovey and gerry tells porkies

Peter
Unionists are better than anyone else ant that is not sectarian so there ya boo sucks

Who would I vote for? Not one of them, they are all a shower of useless pillocks who arses will remain strangers to both of their hands.

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Fade to Grey

I pass this wee house  when I  go for a walk through Castleroe on the banks of the Bann. I can vaguely remember it in better days, when it still had a roof, but even then I don’t remember if there was ever someone living there and now it is gradually becoming part of the background and no doubt when things “pick up” it will disappear completely and be forgotten as a place where people lived, Then again such is the nature of things.

Our senses are designed to be repelled by decay. Nature has designed it so. Decay contain pathogens and poisons. If we were not “disgusted,” these might be reabsorbed or consumed by the body. The wastes and poisons themselves are not inherently bad, in fact they are quite interesting and intriguing and scientifically compelling. I suppose we should not be replled by the wonders of nature, but our awareness that life – and everything in life – deteriorates and changes into something that in time will no longer be attractive to us at the level of sense experience.

Which is a pity, there is a beauty in decay, sometimes hard to find and harder to appreicate but, I think, is there none the less.

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N’ere cast a clout till May is out

Out for a wander today on the wee back roads on the outskirts of home and as I wandered I was reminded of this poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins

Nothing is so beautiful as spring—
When weeds, in wheels, shoot long and lovely and lush;
Thrush’s eggs look little low heavens, and thrush
Through the echoing timber does so rinse and wring
The ear, it strikes like lightnings to hear him sing;
The glassy pear tree leaves and blooms, they brush
The descending blue; that blue is all in a rush
With richness; the racing lambs too have fair their fling.

I couldn’t agree more 🙂

When I was young I enveloped myself in the rush of spring and early summer, sprinting between the boring bits as fast as I could. As I get older I see I missed great chunks of the annual throb and gurgle as life gets the wrinkles out of it’s underwear after 4 months of doing precious little. It is fascinating now to wander, usually alone, along quiet roads and farm lanes at a pedestrian 3 or 4 mph and let my eyes drift. Every now and then I see something that makes me stop and wonder and now I have a camera it is these moments of wonder that I try to record.

One of the plants that is “doing it’s thing” just now is the May Thorn … now there is an old old expression “Cast n’ere a clout till may is out” Now various meanings have been put forward as to what this means but the one that makes most sense is “Dont start your ploughing until the May Thorn is is Bloom”  So given that it is well and truly in bloom now … let the clouting begin!

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walking widow and grouting

There are golf widows, football widows etc etc, but am I the first walking widow? Since Stephen got his new camera and android phone his “wee danders” are rapidly turning into half marathons. He has found an app which maps his route, totals his mileage, plots his ups and downs, his calories burned, what he had for breakfast,where he stopped for a pee, NO, not really but you get the picture. While all this is very interesting and he IS taking some really good piccies, he used to be gone for about an hour on a walk , now a whole morning can go by. You may ask why don’t I go with him – well I used to, when a dander was just that, a nice walk . Maybe he is trying to outdo Eileen!! Anyway enough of that. Following on from my success with amateur plumbing I have added another skill to my ever expanding repertoire. I re-cemented the whole of our patio last week and am very pleased with the result even though I say it myself.  I also installed a new rotary washing line and, as Stephen calls it “plastic lawn edging thingy stuff ” between the patio and grass in the back  garden.  Next few jobs include oiling garden furniture and re staining the door and window frames – uugghh! hateful job!!!!    STOP PRESS.   Industrial action has successfully been averted in the Laundry dispute at No14 , however pay negotiations are ongoing.

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Weekend Walkies Again

I really am quite impressed with “Cardiac Trainer”  for Android Phones, it is free in it’s basic form, which is more than ample for what I want it to do which is basically record where and how long my dander are and according to it in the last 10 danders in the last 7 days I have managed a grand total of 52.02 miles! Which it has to be said is way way more than I could have imagined every having done in a year let along a week back in 2008 when I started dandering.

My Cardiac Training Log

Anyway this weekend I had a client/friend visit on Saturday afternoon and as a result my usual 8-10 miler was curtailed somewhat to a wander into town and back in the morning to get “not just smoked haddock fish cakes but M&S smoked haddock fish cakes”, a 250 cc tube of Zinc White Acrylic Paint, a tin of yacth varnish and 4 feet of plastic lawn edging thingie stuff. Now I didnt think this would amount to a lot of miles.. but to my surprise it came out at just under 5 in total. I supplimented this with a another 5 miler before bed so I don’t feel guilty shirking my weekend danders when the weather is fine.

Since I woke up Sunday whilst Dawn was still yawning and scratching his “bits” and wondering why Night had not filled the coffee machine before he buggered off. I got an early start and I hit the road at 8:30am. Now Sunday was the first rainy start we have had in 9 days! For Northern Ireland in April that is a LONG time between rain. However it was only a brief bit of yuckiness and then it faired up and became another sunny day

🙂

I broke in a new walk too, I have been doing some hills in my other danders but none that steep and none too long. So I thought I would tackle one of the steepest bits of road in the area. The dander was as follows and is very pleasant but there is a section of about 2 miles of exceedingly steep climbing so not perhaps for the first time danderer or the hungover.

  • Park the car at the 12 Apostles/Black Glen car park in Castlerock
  • Enter the Black Glen walk towards lake
  • At sign post take a right and down the grassy path to the lake
  • Follow the edge of the lake to the damn
  • Cross over to the other side and join the path up the other side (very steep and slippery if wet)
  • Over the steps at the top and follow the cliff edge wall to the right
  • Arrive Mussenden Temple
  • Turn left and up to the Castle
  • Round the Castle and down to the Lions Gate
  • Turn Right down the road to the beach @ Downhill
  • Follow the road until the Bishop’s Road turns off to the Left
  • Go up the Bishops Road.. There is above 2km of 10% Hill … you get well puffed out but the views are stunning
  • Keep on the Bishops road for a bit and take the first turn to the left onto the Drumagully Road
  • Follow the road until you come to the Burrenmore Road and turn left
  • Follow the road until you turn right onto the Ballywoodcock Road
  • At the small village on the crossroads turn left at the church onto Ballywoodcock Cresent
  • This is a very wiggly and up and downy road although not as steep as before
  • Eventually you come out on the A2 Mussenden road, which you cross and turn right
  • Resist the urge to turn off to Castlerock and the car keep going towards Articlave
  • When you reach the Hazlett primary school turn left onto Ballywoolen Road
  • Keep on Ballywoolen road until you meet the Barmouth Road on the left ,
  • Take the Barmouth Road
  • When you run out of road you will be 100 yards from the River Bann
  • Follow the path to the river’s edge
  • Turn left and follow the edge of the river to the Barmouth
  • At the Barmouth turn left and follow the beach along until you get to Castlerock Promenade
  • Up the hill to Main Street turn right and follow the road to the 12 apostles and your car
  • Collapse

You can see the route here on WalkJogRun
That is around 9 miles, with some fairly serious hills, a nice long beach and some stunning views over to Donegal in the west and the Giant’s Causeway in the East. I recommend it on a nice day with not too much wind and rain. If you are mad enuff you could even run it.

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Sunset

There are evening when nature makes you stop and HP ohhhh

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Steve’s contribution to the UK Election

I cannot let the build up to the UK elections pass without having a useful pie chart on the old Blog.

Here you go and please note it is WAY more useful than the guff you get from the main parties!

Vote Early! Vote Often

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Laundry leprechaun threatens strike action!

Yesterday the Irish Association of  House and Garden Slaves met to discuss the deepening crisis taking place in the McDonagh household. Their Laundry Leprechaun is threatening to go on strike if the problem of Inside -Out items in the laundry basket (especially SWEATY STINKY SOCKS ) is not resolved soon. This appears to be solely a MAN problem namely HOTS and HOTC (substitute chair for sofa).  When the problem was brought  to the attention of said men folk,the reaction was less than positive. They do not seem to realise how serious the situation has become , as the Ironing Fairy, Plumbing Pixie,  Gardening Gnome and Decorating Dryad are all prepared to join her on the picket line. It is hoped that talks will lead to a speedy resolution perhaps helped by an increase in wages to all association members —that would be ME !!!!!

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A week using the HTC Desire

Part of last weeks anniversary of Steve V1.0 I upgraded my trusty Sony Ericsson Telephone which had kept me in contact with the world for the last 5 years . You can hardly say that I am bleeding edge when it comes to mobile comms.

Various chums advised me to the iPhone others to those phones running Ann Droid, so when the current contract expired I was dithering and unsure of which way to jump iPhone,WinMo or Droid?

A very helpful chap at The Carphone Warehouse is Derry went thru my options , and then pointed me at a sexy slim dark grey HTC

This was the Desire and it is what I am blogging on now 🙂 (Click to get the HTC Desire site)

Battery life – turn all the WiFi GPS Bluetooth on and the battery suffers but not as badly as I thought it would . I hammered other with continuous use for the first few days and I got a full day between charges. Now I am out of “new toy” mode I am getting 36-48 hours tween charges

Charging- 2 -3 hours from flat to full on the supplied usb cable (mind you it is Micro Ended and not Mini!)

Processor – 1GHz Qualcomm processor and very very nippy it is too!

Android- it comes with v2.1 update 1 and it is nice and brisk and resists every attempt by me to break it

Screen – 3.7″ AMOLED screen, bright clear and responsive in all but the brightest sun light

Memory – 0.5Gb on boaard and a micro SD slot in which i slotted a spare 32gb

Camera – 5Megapixel, and takes very nice piccies

Apps – there is a marvelous selection of apps perhaps not as many as Apple but it has everything I need . I am particularly impressed with Cardiac Trainer a app that measures and maps my wanders.

Development – I have had a tinker with the dev env for apps and found it to be well supported with plenty of articles and community involvement

All in all , a fine bit of kit  9/10

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