The mysterious FrockHandbagShoegasm

This morning Val asked me, “That wedding we are going to it is in June isn’t it?
“No”, I replied, “First of May” for such is the date of the approaching nuptials.
“Gasp” said Val, “Duck Light Rowlocks that’s only a month !!!!!!!” at least that is what it sounded like.
[Editors note the !!!!!!! represents the height the eyebrows were raised]

This is one of the great bifurcations in the trousers of sexuality where males go down one leg and ladies down the other.  For a gentleman tis enough to know that there is some grub, drinkies and craic on offer. Yes tis true we have to wear a suit and perchance a tie but this is a small price to pay for an evenings entertainment in the company of ones chums.

Ladies on the other hand look at it from the point of view of how many pounds of weight can conceivably or possibly inconceivably be lost in the time available so that “the” frock which it seems is the only one in the wardrobe that is entirely appropriate. Needless to say “the” frock does not have a matching pair of shoes which now have to be bought, this leads as inexorably as day following night to the realisation that the shoes do not now match the handbag which matches the frock. Thus the cascade of female neutrinos gathers momentum. As each neutrino of anxiety bounces around the collisions releases 3 more, “Is the handbag formal enough?”,  “Can I loose x lbs in an hour/day/week?”, “What colour should my nail varnish be?” … etc etc

I could see this cascade building in Val so I invited my chums from the High Energy Gender Physics Department to attend the spectacle as critical mass is reached and the fabled intense light show known as the  FrockHandbagShoegasm manifests itself. Sadly a pair of suitable shoes where noticed JUST as we left the shoe shop and this naturally occuring dampening device spoiled what was building to be the gender particle physics event of the decade!

We are hoping that there is till enough ambient energy in the system that the  PedicureNailVarnish2ShadesTooDarkDamnIBrokeANail event horizon collapse is averted.

— Steve.  Phd. High Energy Exotic Gender Physics