Letting Go.

It had to happen sometime. My baby has grown up and is going away on his first holiday with “the lads” with no mummy and daddy to look after him and keep him safe. Aarrgghh! Well mum did all the fussing while dad probably had another beer.

Where  have the years gone? It seems only yesterday we brought a tiny wee scrap of humanity home from hospital which led to breast feeding (ouch , ouch and then brilliant, ) nappies, potties, weaning, crawling, walking, talking, nursery school, primary school, grammar school, college. Not forgetting  braces,  girls, broken hearts,  teenage angst and 1st summer job.  Then along came shaving, driving lessons, beer, clubbing , 1st real job in IT won and lost all in the space of 8 weeks (due to recession.)

There was so much more as well. The decisions about when he could play out the front of the house instead of in the enclosed back garden; when he could ride his bike on the road; when he could walk to a friend’s house by himself. As he got older the worries  and decisions didn’t get any easier, just different. When could he  have a mobile phone, tv, playstation, go into town with his friends , go for a pint , go to a club etc etc.

We survived, well I survived. My better half is far too laid back  to have really worried and thought  I had him a bit too tethered to the old apron strings.

In hind sight he was probably right – unfortunately he usually is (damn.) But I think that’s just what mums do. Right?

Anyway I know he’s sensible (sort of ) and his mates are all nice lads . They have booked a week in Majorca , have taken out gold insurance, researched the hotel and generally done all the right things. So why am I still terrified? Because although he is 20, towers over me, has a voice in his boots  – he’s still my baby!!

So just to ease my mind (NOT) what have I been watching on TV? Sun, Sea and A & E! Where is it set ? Magalluf. Where is he going ? Magalluf!  Strangely enough my first holiday away with “the girls” many, many, many years ago was to – yes, Magalluf. Mind you that was in the 70’s and it was very sedate and quiet then- just us girls sitting drinking tea and knitting!!!!! If you believe that you’ll believe anything.

As well as his clothes, toiletries, document organiser, security wallet etc I have assembled a veritable pharmacy for him to take with him – ” just in case.” Short of major surgery I think I’ve got it covered. I did draw the line at condoms – he can buy his own!! -” just in case!”

What more can I do? Nothing really . I have to trust we have done a halfway reasonable job as parents and let him go and have fun – the same way our parents did with us. It’s just another step in his journey, one I hope he will enjoy and tell us all (well probably not all) about when he comes home.

There’s just one other tiny detail. When he gets home, we’ll be away on our jollies so he’ll have the house to himself, well apart from the cats and the snake. Why do I hear the words PARTY reverberating round in my head???