Eulogy for Kev – Gentlefish and Scholar

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of “Kev” goldfish of the parish of Barrnett, Belfast today 29th January 2012.

Kev was closely associated with our dear friend, colleague, ubergeek and Lego minifig model Paul Mooney. Their association spans many years, replete with adventures smiles and a few tears and his passing to the celestial bowl in the sky will be mourned by many none more so that Paul himself.

Little is publicly known about those early days of Paul and Kev as the piscean subject of this eulogy was at heart a gentlefish and not given to blowing his own bubbles about his life or works. Since his sad passing has freed this commentator from the bindings of propriety and the requirement within goldfishean society to be humble at all times, I now  feel justified in telling you the details of his life and works.

It all started in Fintastic Aquatic in Patrick Street in Dublin. The young Mr Mooney would run each Saturday down to the aforementioned piscean establishment with his pocket money in his hand, his heart beating wildly in the hope that this week he would have raised enough money garnered from the pennies raised from being a garden gnome stunt double in RTE Children’s epic “The 6 million punt leprechaun” to buy one of the many beautiful ornamental fish found within that august establishment.

Panting he would arrive, small face pressed against the glass in awe of the Angel Fish, gobsmacked by the Gobies and electrified by the eels and on that warm June afternoon he saw a bright orange flash dart from behind a plastercast model of the Black Pearl and he was hooked, so to speak, this was the fish of his boyhood dreams. this was the fish for him.Transaction complete and his new companion swiming in a clear plastic bag young Mooney jumped on the number 11 bus and headed for home.

As the journey to home progressed and as is the way in Ireland it started to rain and pisseth it did and mightly! But the inclement weather did little to dampen the joy and excitment of young Mooney as he passed through Drumcondra, Leeson street and the heady heights of the North Circular road. … It should however have reminded him to exercise the caution and common sense hammered into him by mother and elder brothers about use of excessive exhuberance around puddles … young Paul not being blessed in the height department.

On this day Paul was too full of his new fish, now named Kevin, and not looking carefully enough fell head long into a deep puddle not yards from his house. Being an ambitious chap with a mind to the future Paul had spent all his free time learning Windows 3.11 installation procedures (and dreaming of fish) and had neglected to learn the fine art of self propelled aquatic propulsion or “swimming” as it is know to heathen northern Protestants.

As Paul’s head dipped under the surface of the puddle for the 5th time, the bag holding Kevin burst allowing the plucky piscean to swim free. Quick as a flash Kevin turned and swam under the struggling Paul and carried him on his back for 10 minutes until a passing Guard was able to resuce the sodden Paul from his predicament.

Kevin was hailed as a hero by the denizens of Ballymunn and the extended Mooney family so it was not surprising that in recognition of the fantastic fishy bravery and pluck, Dublin Corporation commisioned “Tessilation” Terry McNoughtery, famed around the world for his mosaics to create a piece to commemorate this day for all time.

To this day outside Macari’s shoppers pass over the now world famous mosaic cebrating Kev the goldfish saving young Mr Mooney’s life …

Fare thee well Kev, swim free in the celestial bowl of happiness!