Dealing with a SKY salesman at your door

Valerie has just stopped laughing and I have at least given a poor, wet SKY salesman something to mark this day as different, Never let it be said I am not a benificent old codger. The conversation went something like this

[DING DONG]

Sky Chap: Good Evening sir
Me: Bout ya
Sky Chap: Can I ask you, do you have Sky at all?
Me: No, Never have, Never Will
Sky Chap: Ohhh can I ask why?
Me: You certainly can and the answer is simple I would not piss on Mr Murdock’s head if his hair was on fire .. in fact in the dictionary under the definition of self serving bastard is a picture of Mr Murdock and his sundry clones. I would rather douse myself in raw sewage and have my bum cheeks rubbed vigoursly with a cheese grater than give self same Mr Murdock a single penny of my hard earned cash.*
Sky Chap: Ohh ……. Right …… so there is no point me talking to you then
Me: Yes .. exactly.. Good Night

[Close Door]

(* some parts of this conversation have been edited for my younger readers but I am sure you get the drift.)

So if you get a Sky Chappie on your doorstep and you want to get rid of them quick, please feel free to use the above or your own version of it to effect the happy result of being freed from the machinations of the SKY Sales Routine.